Concrete Angel
Martina McBride
I woke up already knowing what I was going to wear to school. It was the same thing I wore everyday. It didn't matter though, no matter what I was wearing I would still be teased and stared at. It's my favorite dress anyway, maybe because it covers my bruises better then my other ones. I already know what everyone is going to say when get there, they'll of coarse make fun of my clothes and ask me what I fell into this time to get my new bruises. They think I am so clumsy. I can see it in my teachers eyes that she wants to talk to me about it, but I know she wont. Those are just not the kinds of things you ask people about. I can never pay attention during school, I am always off in another world, a world where I am the princess and I am loved by everyone, especially my mom. It's hard, sometimes I wonder why I was even born? To be teased? A punching bag for my mom to use? I just don't understand, but I know one day my life will be different and that's how I find happiness. I start getting scared when it comes to lunch time, not because I have no one to sit with but because I know I'll have to go home soon. You'd think that being teased and having no friends would be the worst part of my day, but actually it's being at home. I just hope she's in a good mood today. I'll take my time as I walk home, and think about what i'm going to tell the kids at school when they ask about my new bruises, maybe I'll tell them I fell off my bed, or ran into a wall when I wasn't looking. I'll think of something. As I walk in my front door I can already hear my mom screaming. I know that it'll be a bad today so I just run right up into my bedroom. As I run in the room I can see my neighbor looking out his window. He waves at me, and as I start to wave back at him I hear my mom screaming my name and I see the door fly open. I turn to look back at the boy, but he is gone, I just see his mother and when she sees me she closes the blinds. I feel defeated, and close my eyes, I lay there feeling the pain but my eyes wont open, I can hear my mom screaming my name, but not the way I am use to, instead of screaming in anger, she was in panic all I can hear is "Sarah..Sarah..Get up Sarah." I try but I can't. Her voice slowly drifts away until I can hear and feel nothing. All I can think is, "I'm going to a place where I'll be loved."
Martina McBride
I woke up already knowing what I was going to wear to school. It was the same thing I wore everyday. It didn't matter though, no matter what I was wearing I would still be teased and stared at. It's my favorite dress anyway, maybe because it covers my bruises better then my other ones. I already know what everyone is going to say when get there, they'll of coarse make fun of my clothes and ask me what I fell into this time to get my new bruises. They think I am so clumsy. I can see it in my teachers eyes that she wants to talk to me about it, but I know she wont. Those are just not the kinds of things you ask people about. I can never pay attention during school, I am always off in another world, a world where I am the princess and I am loved by everyone, especially my mom. It's hard, sometimes I wonder why I was even born? To be teased? A punching bag for my mom to use? I just don't understand, but I know one day my life will be different and that's how I find happiness. I start getting scared when it comes to lunch time, not because I have no one to sit with but because I know I'll have to go home soon. You'd think that being teased and having no friends would be the worst part of my day, but actually it's being at home. I just hope she's in a good mood today. I'll take my time as I walk home, and think about what i'm going to tell the kids at school when they ask about my new bruises, maybe I'll tell them I fell off my bed, or ran into a wall when I wasn't looking. I'll think of something. As I walk in my front door I can already hear my mom screaming. I know that it'll be a bad today so I just run right up into my bedroom. As I run in the room I can see my neighbor looking out his window. He waves at me, and as I start to wave back at him I hear my mom screaming my name and I see the door fly open. I turn to look back at the boy, but he is gone, I just see his mother and when she sees me she closes the blinds. I feel defeated, and close my eyes, I lay there feeling the pain but my eyes wont open, I can hear my mom screaming my name, but not the way I am use to, instead of screaming in anger, she was in panic all I can hear is "Sarah..Sarah..Get up Sarah." I try but I can't. Her voice slowly drifts away until I can hear and feel nothing. All I can think is, "I'm going to a place where I'll be loved."
I liked your point of view - how you showed the girls thought process before and during the fact tied it all together.
ReplyDeleteI liked this story, what happend though? did she die? i can't decide if she was going to a better place in her mind or if she commited suicide or something. I like the beginning cus it reminds me of a walk to remember how they were making fun of her one sweater
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job liked how it all came together. I thought you did a nice job on the ending and how she dies but could have clarified the ending a little more.
ReplyDeleteI love the stream of conciousness and how you get all of the story from her point of view.I was left a little confused in the end but i thought that it was a good story.
ReplyDeleteSo so sad. I enjoyed reading this but hated it at the same time. (Not in a bad way though) The story just makes me think of all the children who have to go through this kind of thing on a daily basis and like you said in your story, people just close the blinds and ignore it. This was very well written and you managed to convey the emotions felt in this story very well. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure a tear is rolling down my eye. This story is so heartbreaking, just like the song.
ReplyDeleteIt's so beautiful how you have tapped into the stream of conciousness of an abused little girl. You wrote it so beautiful and real. It broke my heart just reading it.
I feel like you could have changed the ending a bit. It doesn't exactly make sense. Did she die? What did her mom do? Did she kill her?
that is so sad, you did a good job illustrating the hidden side of abuse. it was really well written. broke my heart
ReplyDeleteThis was very well done! You put everything together really well. I also really liked how you topped of the ending! Nice job!
ReplyDelete