I have a list of things to remember
it'll be hard because it's septemberi thought about it
and chose a path to takethere was nothing I could make
and I wish that this was fakethat was all i could think
in the dark of the night i realized
I'd rather be in love then dead.in the dark of the night i realized
I have to get out of bed
sleep is just time spent wasting time.
I thought this was a pretty good poem. I liked the line "I'd rather be in love then dead." I thought it gave a good image.
ReplyDeletethis wasn't to bad. i did like the part that says i thought about it
ReplyDeleteand chose a path to take. that would not be a bad part to use for you 2nd draft
I wouldn't call this very bad poetry!
ReplyDeletehahaha.
I loved the part where it says "in the dark of the night i realized/i'd rather be in love then dead." Because I know I do my best thinking when I am laying in bed and I would think that it's good thinking that you'd rather be in love than dead. So I can't wait to see your second draft because if you just correct this a little bit it's going to be great.